As I cruised back on the E train to Long Island City after a full day of work conferencing, I noticed this sign. It’s easy to notice because on the subway you either look at your phone, your feet, or the walls.
This sign lets passengers know what to do in case of emergency.
A Fire emergency – DON’T PULL THE EMERGENCY CORD!
A Medical emergency – DON’T PULL THE EMERGENCY CORD!
A Police emergency – DON’T PULL THE EMERGENCY CORD!
Evacuation – Get the F out!
In the first three, you’re supposed to find, locate, and speak with the non-existent train personnel. Whatever you do, DON’T PULL THE EMERGENCY CORD!
So when is it okay to pull the emergency cord?
- Terrible flatulence
- Imminent childbirth (Dammit, that’s a medical emergency. Never mind)
- Voldemort returns
- Your iPhone battery dies
Why have an emergency cord if you can’t pull it during an emergency?